desperate.

I think I had said that Eden had gone back to sleeping through the night. False Alarm. I am at a loss what to do. She continues to wake throughout the night. Sometimes one time, sometimes two times. Could teething really be causing this for the last 2 months? She doesn't seem really in pain and she also seems fine during the day. Another thing that is frustrating is that when she's eating at night, she doesn't seem that hungry and so it makes me think it's not necessarily because she needs food. She also will not take a pacifier, is this girl particular or what? =) At almost 9 months I am boggled at why she cannot sleep through the night and why we have gone back & forth with this for 9 months. Another crazy thing is that she's completely inconsistent at when she's waking up. Sometimes it's as early as 9 or 10 pm, sometimes it's 1 or 2am, occasionally we make it to 4 or 5am.

So in the last 2 weeks I decided it was time to let her cry it out and see what happened. That's when we found out how determined she really was. :-/ One night she woke up at 9pm, and knowing she couldn't need to eat so soon, we let her go. For 2 hours she would cry and fall asleep, cry & fall asleep. I finally went to feed her, she literally ate for 2 minutes and fell asleep till morning. AGH. That was actually our best night of late. A couple of nights ago, she woke around 2:30 and cried solid for an hour & a half. I finally gave in. 2 nights ago she cried for 2 and a half hours (do you know how long that is?). Last night: major problem. This time when she woke up I knew I was too worn down to listen to her cry so felt like I don't care how many times she wakes up, I am just going to feed her so we don't have to listen to her cry. But whether it was because I am too stressed or tired or worn down, my body could not feed her. We are trying to get her to take a bottle and she just absolutely won't. This might have been the most discouraging time yet because I just wanted to get food into her so she would go back to sleep, and I literally couldn't. She eventually fell asleep until 6:30 and I was able to feed her then. For those who don't believe in the crying method, don't judge, I really truly love her. :)  But I feel utter desperation right now. I have never felt this close to post-partum blues, but it is really a struggle right now. I consistently get only 2-3 hours of sleep at a time and after almost 9 months, I feel at a breaking point. We go to her pediatrition next week and maybe he will have some insight. Is there a problem? I don't know. She seems fine during the day, she eats great, she eats until she's full.....I just don't know it could be.

I share for 2 reasons................not to be a cryfest, I am sorry if it seems that way, that's not my intention.

*I would like to know if anyone else has experienced something like this or if anyone has any ideas!

*And also, if you think of it, please uphold this in prayer. That I would trust God in His sovereignty during this difficult season, that I would experience His grace, and that I would have the strength to serve my family & those around me as I need to each day with the right spirit.

It has helped for me to begin to begin to view this as something that God has ordained for me. I used to think, well, you just do

X + Y = Z and then your kids sleep through the night and bingo, you're an awesome parent. :) But sometimes God ordains something differently and I am learning to trust in His plan.

 The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
 my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.
Psalm 28:7

You might also pray that maybe, just maybe, that we could get some sleep around here. =0

hello first snow.

tidbits

I was just looking through pics from our camera and found some nuggets to share............

 football man.

Seriously, you don't even know how much time I spend running "completions".

Yesterday I had a baby on my hip dribbling a soccer ball around the house as G chased me, laughing hysterically.

Yep, who would have thought all the years I spent playing sports was actually training to keep up with my little boy. :) 

 We were eating dinner and noticed this cutie chilling in our backyard!

 Also greatly enjoying our backyard view as the leaves begin to change!

all in a day. 

 Super excited that we got free tickets to go to the Ringling Bros. circus next week!

 He loves all sports, but baseball seems to be his most beloved of the moment. It's the only equipment that he carefully puts on the table where "Eden can't reach them". :)

I also call him the red man because if he has his choice on what to wear, he will choose as many red items as he can find!

 We got hit with some heavy colds this weekend which meant some extra snuggles!

 It also meant the dreaded NOSESUCKING!!!

 It's hard having 2 new teeth because sometimes you forget and chomp your own finger. :-/

2 bottom cuties.

 

Convo with G today:

Mom, I have a question.

What?

I'm having a hard time.

Hard time with what?

Eating my lunch.

Why?

Because the silly monster is laughing at me.

{And then he cracked up laughing.}

a few favorites

We are in some serious need of some new throw pillows around here.

I've been perusing Etsy and am loving this shop.  Throw pillows can be crazy prices. But I think hers are very affordable. 

A few of these might just be on my wish list. Just say'n. :)

And hey, if you're in the pillow market, these are all on sale thru Halloween!

homemade granola bars

I didn't attempt to make granola bars for a long time because they always seemed complicated and involving many ingredients that I didn't keep on hand. Sunflower kernels....toasted wheat germ....flaxseed......I just don't. :)
But then I came across this recipe and knew it was one I could attempt! I've made a few tweaks for what works for us.
 I now usually make them at least once a week (because they disappear!) and they literally take me about 10 minutes. You can adapt them all different ways.........my current batch has peanut butter chips and Trader Joe's orange flavored cranberries!

Peanut Butter Granola Bars

* 1 1/2 cups crispy rice cereal

*1 cup other cereal (grape nut flakes or kashi go lean are good ones)

* 2 cups old-fashioned oats

* 2/3 cup packed brown sugar

* 2/3 cup honey (note: this gives them a very strong honey flavor. I usually use 1/3 c. honey and 1/3 c. maple syrup or another liquid sweetener instead.)

* 1/2 cup peanut butter

* 1 tsp vanilla extract

* 1/4 tsp cinnamon

* 1/2 tsp salt

Optional add-ins:

* 1/4 c. chocolate chips (put these in freezer before adding or the chocolate will smear)

*1/4 c. raisins or dried cranberries

*1/4 c. slivered almonds

*1/4 c. coconut

Directions: Grease or line a 9×13 inch pan.

Mix brown sugar, honey and peanut butter in a small sauce pan. Stir over medium heat until just boiling. Add in the vanilla right at the end.

In a large bowl combine the cereal and oatmeal, cinnamon, salt, and any other add-ins (minus the chocolate chips).

Add the hot mixture to the dry ingredients and stir to combine. Lastly, stir in the frozen chocolate chips.

Pour into the prepared pan. Press flat using a spatula or aluminum foil (which doesn’t stick at all!). Stick them in the freezer for 30-60 minutes. Set aside to thaw, then cut into bars. Makes 15 bars.

TIPS:

* Bars taste great if frozen…. Once thawed they retain the chewy texture however I would avoid refrigerating the bars as this seems to dry them out.

* To keep fresh store at room temperature in a sealed container.

Other “Add-Ins” to experiment with:

 M&M’s, peanut butter chips, butterscotch chips, dates, dried apricots, peanuts, pecans, walnuts, flax seed, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, toffee pieces…

oh these kiddos...........

I have a heard quite a few parents say that their kids get used to sleeping through sibling noises.

But apparently my kids missed that memo.

I am so thankful they don't share a room cuz' we would have some serious troubles!

As it is, they often wake each other up in the morning or after naptime. 

If one is up, I guess they think they should both me up.

Trying to teach Graham that it is not okay to climb into her crib.

You can see how effective that's been so far. =) 

*

But you can tell by her big smile that Eden is pretty happy about her little guest. :)

hello 8.

We have cruised into 8 months. And cruising she is! Slowly....she creeps around a little bit. She is terribly entertained right now by pulling herself up to something, sitting down, and doing it again. Ah, the simple things. :)

 She is loving feeding herself! Her first official self-fed meal was pumpkin pancakes. I managed to capture meal #2 which was bread, cheese, tomatoes, and pears. All of which she fed herself.

Oh that is nice. :)

Bottom tooth #1 has finally poked through. Tooth #2 is not far behind and I think her top 2 teeth are making their way down as well. Ugh. After a 5-6 week hiatus, she finally went back to her 11-12 hour nights. T.h.a.n.k.f.u.l.

 She is a mover & a shaker. One determined little girl who gets around everywhere!

She army crawls on her belly, but not much slows her down. :)

 Graham likes to "help".

 A sweet & unexpected box of Missoni items showed up on our door!

 She has a matching cardigan to this skirt and a super cute blanket. Thank you, aunt Phuong!

 Might be my favorite $6.50 find ever. :)

 I am so thankful I am still able to exclusively nurse her. I never really thought I would be the person who nurses exclusively for a full year, but it's just kind of turned into that. It works out differently for everyone and sometimes you can, sometimes you can't. She just went down to 4 feedings a day, so I am hoping that doesn't cause any problems. It's been so much easier & better the 2nd time around. There are occasionally times where it would have been handy if she would take a bottle, but overall, it hasn't been a problem at all.

Our happy girl!

 Balloons are a favorite toy. Don't worry, she is not left unattended with them. :)

 She also loves balls!

Hmmmm....seems someone else in our house is into them as well.

 Only 4 months till she turns one! Times flies so quickly.

Thankful for our sweet, easy-going baby girl.

 

the whirlwind week

This past week sure flew by! The kids are in total re-coup mode today. Thankful Andrew has a 3-day weekend (thank you Columbus!) We had a very slow morning and it sure was nice. :)

 I try to keep activities to a minimal each week, so we're not running around like crazy, but last week snuck through the cracks. We sure enjoyed it though!

Tuesday night we headed to our first family volleyball game to watch Kristin play. {They lost, bummer!} but we had fun. It's crazy to watch a game that I was so involved with through playing and/or coaching for about 10 years of my life and now I've barely touched a ball in the past 5 years. Maybe someday again. :)

On Thursday, I did a swap with my neighbor. I left Eden with her and took her toddler who is one of G's best buddies! (She is 39 weeks pregnant, so she said she preferred staying home with the quiet baby!)

I had to return something at the mall, so I took the 2 kiddos with me and they had lots of fun!

This about sums it up.

and this. =)

On Friday, my friend had some extra zoo passes and generously offered them to us. We love the zoo and the weather was gorgeous!
Graham seems to have a thing for the ladies. =)

My friend, Jolanta, is from Lithuania and always has fun & interesting things to talk about, I love that! Thanks Jolanta, we had a great time!
Not a bad pic for a 3-yr. old. :)

On Friday night, Andrew decided to set up our tent. Since we're not doing much camping in this stage of our life. =) Graham loved it and we had an impromptu dinner.

Again, enjoying such a week of beautiful weather. We know the COLD is coming! :-/

Saturday night we enjoyed dinner at Red Robin, courtesy of a gift card. I love getting restaurant gift cards! This one came through Andrew's work. Good job, babe!

We don't attempt dinner out with kiddos much, not super relaxing in my book. :) But both kids did great and of course, Red Robin is a very kid-friendly place!

*

Sunday evening we enjoyed a fun church picnic! We thoroughly enjoyed meeting many new faces. Graham loved the giant bonfire and getting to roast his first marshmallow. Sadly, no pics.

*

That was the whirlwind..........I think this week we're going to stay a little closer to home, though we do have a very fun Momtourage event planned (hayride, pumpkin patch, corn maze, etc...).

*

Eden also turns 8 months today and her first tooth just poked through this morning!

*

Happy Columbus Day!

hmmmm...................

Something seems wrong with this picture.................

and this one......................

I am thankful that G seems to be doing much better in loving on his sister. He loves to make her laugh and she gets huge belly laughs over watching him. They are quickly becoming partners in crime. =) Not that he still doesn't have his moments. He now wants to pick her up which is not a good idea since he thinks dropping her is an acceptable option when he's "done". This is going to be one tough girl. =) She has already learned to look at me and grunt with what I swear is "Mom, get this crazy guy off of me!" But for the most part, though his affection is slightly rough..........it does seem to be out of love.

This is what we like to see. :)

Her face partly says "what is he doing to me now?"

 

Yesterday, after his naptime, he was playing "quietly" in his room.

His definition of quiet, not mine. :)

They don't share a room, but they do share a vent so the noise carries easily. So she was woken up just over an hour into her nap. Boo. I was going to let her fuss and she if she would go back to sleep...then I hear another voice over the monitor.........."it's ok baby". Oh no! Run upstairs and he is sitting IN her crib patting her back to comfort her.

 I mean, how sweet is that.................however, naptime was officially over. =)

I do hope he will continue to be loving & nurturing to her.

Nothing like have a protective older brother.  

Graham wanted to type his name......in his own style, of course.

Ggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

With a sudden head butt to the book basket, 

baby girl has her first black eye. :-/