So my due date has come and gone...and no baby. Not a big surprise. I have been told countless times that first babies are always late. And that's what I have tried to put my mind to this whole pregnancy. I guess the thing that threw me off was that 10 days ago my dr. & nurses all assured me I was about to give birth any second! So, naturally, I began to think that was true. (big mistake :)
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This weekend, God definitely gave me a peace about the timing of this baby. I know it's in His hands. I feel absolutely assured that Graham will come when he comes and making myself feel pressure to accommodate certain people's schedules is not going to help anything.
The ony thing that is somewhat discouraging is knowing that I still may have to be induced after the whole emotional upheaval we went through last week! But, again, God is in control of this situation and I rest in Him.
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I do have a few small suggestions to anyone who may interact with anyone who is pregnant...
I have been shocked at the words that people will say to some who is pregnant. It's like all tact flys right out of the window and does not apply to someone who is pregnant. Some of these have been said to me, some of my friends have recently told me they've been said to them.
They are meant to be funny...but seriously...think about it. :)
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1. do not ask a woman if she is having any twins
(do you want her to be any more sensitive about this?!)
2. do not tell her that she seems to be too small
(do you want to make her worry? are you her dr?!)
3. do not ask if she has stretch marks
(now, mercifully, I do not, but I think if I did, I would have been very tempted to LIE!)
4. do not tell her how swollen she is
(yes, someone did tell me yesterday how swollen my face was. ummm, thank you?)
5. do not tell her if she just does "this", it will induce labor.
(yes, I have tried them all, and no, they do not work if baby is not ready to come!)
6. do not tell her the last month or 2 flys by.
(are you kidding me? it's the longest month of my life!)
7. do not criticize the name choice
(we have lots of positive comments about our name, but if you don't like it, it's ok to pretend you do!)
8. do not badger those who choose to keep gender or name a secret.
(this wasn't us, but I know it can be hard for those who go this route!)
9. do not be critical of childbirth classes or birthing methods that a couple chooses.
(wow, I didn't know what a big deal it was between going "natural" or using medication or using a midwife vs. dr. or to circumsize or not to, to vaccinate or not to...people have very strong opinions on both sides of all these issues!)
10. Just be supportive and love. Only give advice when asked.
(we appreciate the many words of wisdom that people have shared with us. I think it's just that by month 9 we heard the same things so many times, that it gets a little overwhelming!)
11. It's ok to talk to a pregnant woman about something other than her pregnancy.
(I love conversation that has nothing to do with it at this point!)
12. How much weight have you gained?
what?? how much do YOU weigh?
13. let's remove this comment from our vocab - "still pregnant, huh?"
(why, yes, I am. thank you for the reminder :)
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> does anyone else have crazy things that people have said to them?? <
7 comments:
I have had someone come walking towards me waddling so much sorta making fun of me. and on a different occassion say to me once I told them I was pregnant, that "oh, I thought you were getting a little chubby" (sarcastically of course) Both of these woman were coworkers who I don't tend to talk to too much anyways. any guesses why. :-)
i enjoyed your "no no comments" list! i've had it happen to me, too. when i was prego with emma i was 2 days overdue (and already very emotional too as the last month seemed like eternity!). michael and I were at his new doctor's office- we were there trying to figure out what was wrong with him before he was diagnosed with Crohns. the dr. was very untactful. she looked at me and said "what are you having?" we told her girl and that she should be here any time and we were all ready for her... she just starred at my bulge and matter of factly stated "i don't know who you got that info from, because I can assure you that you aren't having a girl. That's definitely a boy in there. those ultrasounds are never accurate."
thanks lady. just what i wanted to hear at 40+ weeks pregnant.
and yes, i was tempted to take my "boy" to meet her after SHE was born, but my husband told me to cool it. :)
prayin for you guys.
You should write a book called "What not to say to Pregnant Women" You definitely covered a lot of them.
I've enjoyed hearing your crazy stories too!! thanks for sharing.
Nina - what is wrong with that dr.??? people are nuts!
I'll think about that book Kristen... :)
oh my! This made me laugh soo hard! After going 8 days past my due date - I got sooo tired of all of the people asking, giving advice etc. Like you said - you are so emotional and just waiting... And then when I decided to be induced (8 days after my due date!) people kept saying how I really should go naturally into labor. Well - it's not really their decision, is it now?! haha - ok, I am getting fired up. I should stop now.
I especially loved the one about the weight. What a good point! Seriously, in any other situation - would you ever ask someone this?! you are so funny!
I enjoyed your list as well. When I first told people I was pregnant with Victoria, I received these 2 comments: "I thought you were pregnant because your chest was getting bigger!" and "I was thinking that you were either getting fat or you were pregnant!" The first one I found completely mortifying, the second was just rude, though I cried on both occasions.
Thanks for the laugh Kelly! It's especially toward the end of my pregnancies that my sarcastic tendencies REALLY want to come out! :) Kevin and I had more annoying comments after we had Silas than while I was pregnant with him though. Actually most of them were made to Kevin. I guess some people think that fathers have no idea what they're doing. Oh well. Praise the Lord for a gracious husband! :)
I am praying for you and Andrew as you adjust to this wonderful little guy! I wish we could be there to see him in person. I'll definitely settle for pictures! :) And I love his name!
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