How do you give them up?

Regarding foster children this question is posed to me over & over again.

And then again.

Truly if I had a dollar for every time it was asked, G & E's college funds would be well funded. :) However, let me give you a peek into my sinful, selfish heart and let you in on something we have come to learn is harder than letting them go. Loving well. It can be hard to love children that are not your own, especially for an extended stay in your home.

The better question for foster parents is not how do you give them up? it is how do you love them well?

Keep in mind that many kids coming into the foster system are often at their worst. They have just been taken from all that's familiar. They present challenges because of various neglect or abuse they have experienced. They have often had very little structure or discipline in their life. Life is thrown into a transitional time of chaos for everyone. 

It's hard to have a peaceful home and bring in kids for whom screaming at each other is normal par for the course.

It's hard to have a 2YO scream no in your face constantly.

It's hard to see stuff get broken & ruined in your house.
It's hard to see your children get bitten multiple times.

It's hard to change hundreds of diapers that are not your child. Especially when they go from a "candy, coke & mcdonalds" diet to whole foods & produce. The diaper situation at transition time around here is often really, really bad. Yes, I have thrown up. :)

It's hard to have other kids put every.single.thing. in your house in their mouth. Especially as snot drains from their nose.

It's hard to have a child that screams at the top of their lungs constantly, for no apparent reason.

It's hard to have kids throw themselves on the floor & tantrum every.single.time you re-direct them. We tend to run a torturous house....kids aren't allowed to do things such as chew on cords, eat chalk, fall down stairs, or other things hazardous to their health. :)

There are challenges and it is hard. But I won't for a second say that every minute is bad or that we haven't experienced great benefits through this journey. Let me share some of the mini-miracles we get to share in.

The kids who couldn't identify basic fruits & vegetables. Yelling green pepper, my favorite! as being served.

A child who responds with a glassy stare at being tickled (appearing to not have experienced much touch), rolling with belly laughs at being tickled.

Every single child we have taken in sings "He set my feet on a Rock!" at the top of their lungs.

The 11mo who comes to us with only a juice bottle, not used to formula or solids, eating & drinking (milk) normally within a few weeks.

The 2yo who had never used utensils eating oatmeal with a spoon.

Kids yelling "Bible time!" at 7pm.

Seeing your own kids give unselfishly of their toys, their clothes, & their parents.
An almost nonverbal 2 year old when he comes, 6 weeks later, singing "His name is Jesus!"

A child who screamed bloody murder at being left in a crib, cooing themselves to sleep.

Seeing their joy as they experience fun activities for the first time.

Seeing them being loved on so much by our church family.

Kids hugging and saying sorry to each other.

Another aspect that we completely did not expect was how we can be a blessing to their families. We've had contact with various family members who of course feel slight panic that children they love are in "the system". We are able to put their minds at ease at how the kids are responding, positive changes we are seeing, and share pictures.

We are still so new at this and learning every day. God has to (& does) fill us with grace each day. We fail in our love & patience sometimes. But we pray that He continually works in our hearts to love others as Christ loves us.  

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; lhis mercies never come to an end;

23 they are new mevery morning; ngreat is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

Let me tell you, we have gone through some real grief as some of the children have left our home. It can be hard. Some kids harder than others (wink). But for anyone considering foster care, don't let how do you give them up be the factor you most dwell on. Spend lots of time praying on whether you can love them well.

 

hello. goodbye. Psalm 103.

These should probably be 3 separate posts, but in my limited blogging minutes I am going to have to combine.

hello Moon.

 If you've been on facebook, you are probably aware that we have a student from China that is staying with us for the month of August. It's kind of a roundabout story, a friend of a friend of an aquaintance.......but we are happy to have her here! With a guest room, full bathroom, and private balcony in our lower level we are thankful for a great space for guests, even that stay for a month!

We are learning a few Chinese words and she treated us to a Chinese dinner! We are having fun showing her fun places around Pittsburgh. And many times I magically find toys picked up and dishes done. How wonderful is that? :) We have had discussions on the differences in our cultures, the perceptions of Americans, the freedoms we enjoy (being able to jump in a car and go anywhere or have as many babies as we like), how the world began, how the world will end, communion, gays & lesbians (not seen in China), God and much more. We have found Connect 4 and Go Fish to be good games to play and that the kid's books are very helpful in teaching English! I have also been helping her plan a 7 city tour (that I totally want to go on!). With $5 Megabus fares from Philly to NYC to DC and $1 greyhound fares from San Diego to LA and $150 airfare from DC to San Diego it's more affordable than you might think! She also has a hostel membership and so is able to stay places for sometimes as low as $15 a night. In a few cities, she is also staying with some of our generous friends along the way! It's been quite the adventure to plan. Did I mention I'm jealous? :)

*

Goodbye Kristin. {sniff, sniff}

This girl was not supposed to grow up and leave us! What a blessing she has been to our family. Who doesn't love that person that calls and says I'll be there in 15 minutes. And you don't even have to change out of your pj's. {She probably wishes we would.} hehe. She has babysit for us many times and our kiddos love her. We will miss her so, so much but know she's off to an adventure as a freshman at Liberty University.

*

Psalm 103

Bless the Lord, O my soul,

and all that is within me,

bless his holy name!

Bless the Lord, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits,

who forgives all your iniquity,

who heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit,

who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,

who satisfies you with good

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

My heart has been so burdened for so many friends as of late. So many are going through such difficult struggles. My prayer list has grown longer than I would wish it to be.

-
 The twins babies born seemingly healthy, only to go into heart failure. 

The preemie baby who was/is touch & go.

{All 3 babies, by God's grace, are getting stronger!}

The friend whose father has stage IV cancer.

10 of Andrew's co-workers suddenly laid off.

A friend with a miscarriage.
The church family being divided.

A baby born and the mother suffering horrible complications.

The friend with cancer. 

The friends facing uncertainty.
The wife with 3 young kids who faces losing her husband to disease.
The mom with a 2 day old baby whose husband is killed in a car accident.
-
The angst in my heart for these situations, all occurring just in a few short months time, is so much. Does anyone else's daily struggles seem small right now? We can only cling to our hope in God, knowing He loves us unconditionally.
We sang this song in church on Sunday, a promise we must live.
You must stop & listen to it {maybe twice}.

How do we calm down?

I'm sharing this from Girltalk....any thoughts?

Not that long ago my mother kept in touch with friends and family via a telephone tethered to the wall in the kitchen. She bought the longest cord available so that maybe, if she worked it right, she could reach the coffee table in the living room. But basically, if she wanted to connect, it had to be in the kitchen.

To find the best stroller, she had to ask each of her friends for a personal recommendation, look up the stroller in a borrowed copy of Consumer Reports, and drive around to local stores to find the best price. And if Mom wanted to go somewhere for the first time she had to call for directions, write them out by hand on a piece of paper, and then hope she wouldn't get lost and need to stop at a gas station or pay phone.

It's only been twenty-five years, but compared to my mom, I have the equivalent of a full-time personal assistant. I can connect with friends anytime, anywhere. I can research, purchase, and schedule delivery for the latest stroller in five minutes without getting up from the couch. I never have to ask for directions. My smart phone redirects me when I'm lost, instantly provides me with reviews, tips, and solutions; and if I wanted it to, it could even babysit my children.

It still doesn't clean the toilets. But in truth, there's something comforting about that.

So why is my generation of women more busy, overwhelmed, and anxious? We should have vast amounts of time on our hands in order to rest, read Scripture, ponder and pray. And yet our lives seem increasingly hectic compared to the world in which we were raised.

Why?

happy Easter.

We are excited for our first Easter Sunday at 3RG!

Looking forward to a great worship service and ending with this great song of praise {also playing right now}.

One day when Heaven was filled with His praises
One day when sin was as black as could be
Jesus came forth to be born of a Virgin
Dwelt among men, my example is He
Word became flesh and the light shined among us
His glory revealed

Living He loved me, dying He saved me
And buried He carried my sins far away
Rising He justified freely forever
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day!

One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose, over death He had conquered
Now He's ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him
The grave could not keep Him from rising again

Living He loved me, dying He saved me
And buried He carried my sins far away
Rising He justified freely forever
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day!

It is a very glorious day indeed.

hosanna.

I see the king of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes

I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing

Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith

I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees

Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity

Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest

{This is no April fools}

when mama bear is not well

life slows dramatically. ok, maybe comes to a standstill!

I would not have chosen this particular set of days to have to cancel all plans (we were supposed to host a Momtourage playdate on Wednesday as well as have another playdate with some new friends on Thursday). But is there really ever a good time to be sick? Pretty sure it can be considered inconvenient at any time.
Tuesday morning I woke up feeling like I had been kicked in the stomach. I really don't ever remember having a sickness quite like this one. I kind think it must have been something I ate, though I can't really think of anything to pinpoint.........and we hadn't eaten out in the last few days. By the middle of the day I was feeling much better. And then a miracle happened - both my kids napped for 2 solid hours without a peep. Let me tell you that almost never happens! So I was able to nap for about 1.5 uninterrupted hours - I think it was my best nap since Eden's been born. It was divine. However about 4:00, the stomach thing came back in full-force and I was holed up on the couch with the kids crawling all over me wishing away the hour until Andrew came home. Which he did and played supermom for the rest of the evening - for which I am very grateful! Dinner for the kids, cooking his own dinner, a bath for Eden, bedtime for Graham, run to the store to get me some "sick food"  - thanks babe, I know it wasn't what you were expecting after a long day of work!
Wednesday morning Andrew was able to stay home from work until about noon which got me to the point where I felt most of the worst was behind me. So it was a day of pj's, NO housework, toys everywhere.............it was kind of relaxing. :)
The worst part was telling Graham that we had to cancel our playdates. :( He LIVES for social interactions and just loves playing with his friends. He was so excited about our popcorn, hot chocolate, and Christmas movie with friends.
But I am thankful that most of my Christmas to-do's were done and that our company and travel plans are not until next week.  Now I am praying that no one else picks up the bug.
For now I am thankful to be feeling much better! I believe God knew I needed a day to rest (without feeling guilty!) and that it would be better for our family to clear the calendar for a couple of days. Sometimes sickness can be a blessing in disguise, so thank you, God.

Psalm 62

I love this song, particularly verse 3.

My soul finds rest in God alone,
My Rock and my salvation,
A fortress strong against my foes,
And I will not be shaken.
Though lips may bless and hearts may curse,
And lies like arrows pierce me,
I’ll fix my heart on righteousness,
I’ll look to Him who hears me.

O praise Him, hallelujah,
My Delight and my Reward;
Everlasting, never failing,
My Redeemer, my God.

Find rest, my soul, in God alone
Amid the world’s temptations;
When evil seeks to take a hold
I’ll cling to my salvation.
Though riches come and riches go,
Don’t set your heart upon them;
The fields of hope in which I sow
Are harvested in heaven.

O praise Him, hallelujah,
My Delight and my Reward;
Everlasting, never failing,
My Redeemer, my God.

I’ll set my gaze on God alone,
And trust in Him completely;
With every day pour out my soul,
And He will prove His mercy.
Though life is but a fleeting breath,
A sigh too brief to measure,
My King has crushed the curse of death
And I am His forever.

O praise Him, hallelujah,
My Delight and my Reward;
Everlasting, never failing,
My Redeemer, my God.
by Aaron Keyes and Stuart Townend.

Be encouraged today ~ listen to this beautiful song here.

I need this reminder.

Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.

Read the rest of this great article by Rachel Jankovic here.

O glorious day indeed!

I sure was excited to see O Glorious Day added to the list of songs I can choose from for my blog player! We have been singing this a lot in our church the past couple months. I can't get it out of my head and frequently sing it to Graham.

who tells me to stop.

boo on him. =) 

THANK YOU Casting Crowns for taking some great words and giving them a  much-needed fresh take. I am sure you will find yourself sing along as well. :D

He is Risen

Let the joy begin, let our songs ring out

Let our hearts be glad, love has banished doubt

See the empty cross, all our debts are gone

Only grace remains, for the victory’s won

Oh what a day, what a glorious day

Oh what a day, what a glorious day

When You conquered death

And rose up from the grave

Oh what a day, what a glorious day!

© 2011 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI).

Get the new SG Easter album here.

For Me. For You.

 Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the governor's headquarters, and they gathered the whole battalion before him.  And they stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him,  and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on his head and put a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!” And they spit on him and took the reed and struck him on the head.  And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the robe and put his own clothes on him and led him away to crucify him.

 Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land until the ninth hour.  And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”  And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit.

And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And the earth shook, and the rocks were split. The tombs also were opened. And many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, and coming out of the tombs after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many. When the centurion and those who were with him, keeping watch over Jesus, saw the earthquake and what took place, they were filled with awe and said, “Truly this was the Son of God.”

(Matthew 27)

new wheels

We are thanking the Lord for providing a new vehicle for us! Our past car had 172,000 miles on it and has been such a great reliable vehicle for us. We thank my parents for passing that on to us and for the safety & reliability it has given us the past 3 years. We felt this was the time we should sell it when we could still get a some money for it to put towards our new vehicle. It also did not have the trunk space to fit even our jogging stroller, much less the double stroller we see in our future! And traveling anywhere with one child, maxes out every inch of space, so I don't know where we would put two. :)
So Andrew has been on the hunt for a while. We had decided on a (pre-owned) Ford Escape. We felt that it fit our size needs and would be a good & reliable vehicle for us. Anyone that has looked at SUV's, even smaller ones, knows that they are not cheap! But it is amazing how just purchasing a few years old makes such a difference.
We had also decided on paying cash for this car. We didn't feel like we should take on a car payment at this point in our lives, when we don't necessarily know how our path is going to lead during the next couple of years.
So thankfully, Andrew's patience & hunting paid off. We feel like we got a great deal and while it *hurts* to write a big check, :) we also feel great freedom, knowing that it is officially ours. We thank the Lord for his provision for us, and I especially thank Andrew for being so diligent & meticulous in our budgeting and allowing us to save for expenditures such as these. Is it worth the coupon-clipping or not going out to eat every week or waiting on the latest gadget? Absolutely!!

under Grace

I am been immersed in a world of toddlers. Last week, Monday-Thursday, between baby-sitting, library time, playdates, momtourage and church, I was around, cared for, played with, and supervised 33 kiddos under 3. Can I just say that I have never been at a point in my life when I am so greatly challenged? :) I think toddlerville might be my most stretching point yet. whew. I am working on embracing that this is the realm that God has me in right now, and asking for lots of grace each day.

I also currently have a new experience, for me, in teaching our church ladies Bible study. I wasn't sure about doing this, however, God has used it immensely in my life. Anyone that has taught anything, probably understands that the teacher always receives the most benefit from studying. Unlike some ladies who *may* be doing their homework the night before (been there!), I get to spend the 2 weeks between our meetings doing a lot of reading, studying, putting my lesson together. The result: much instruction into my life, for which I am very thankful. We are going thru the book Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free . It's very convicting. We've covered some great topics such as bondage (what am I allowing myself to be in bondage to?), discontentment (been there!), and this past week - "believing" the truth vs. actually living it out. In reading the book Crazy Love, this section really jumped out to me in correlation to our study.
“Believing” the Truth vs. Living the Truth
(from “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan)
Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Phil 4:4
This is also followed with the charge, “Do not be anxious for anything”. (v.6)
When I am consumed by my problems – stressed out about my life, my family, and my job – I actually convey the belief that I think my circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice. I have a “right” to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities.
Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives.
Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.

So, for me, as I embrace my current status as resident (mayor? nanny?!) of toddlerville, am I "believing" the Truth or am I living the Truth? This will be manifested only as I Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice!

Continuing Thoughts..................

from Whiter than Snow.

somebody else.
I really wish I could blame
somebody else.
I wish I could place the responsibility
on somebody else.
I would love to point the finger
at somebody else.
I wish I could convince myself
that it was somebody else.
For a moment I bought my argument
that it was somebody else.
There is always another sinner
who can bear my fault.
There is always another circumstance
that can carry my blame.
There's always some factor
that made me do what I did.
There's always somewhere else to point
rather than looking at me.
But in the darkness of bedtime
the logic melts my heart.
In the moments before sleep
the pain begins to squeeze away my breath.
As my mind replays the day's moments
the conclusion is like a slap.
there is no monster
to hide from.
There is no excuse that holds.
My war is not external,
the enemy is not outside.
The struggle rages within me,
nowhere to point or run.
No independent righteousness,
no reason for smugness or rest.
I am my greatest enemy
and rescue my only hope.
In the quiet I face it
I cannot blame somebody else.
One more time I close my eyes admitting
my only hope is found in Somebody else.
[Paul Trip]

I must say this chapter was quite convicting as it asked the question, "have you ever been tempted to blame inside struggles on outside pressures"?
Do you ever think, if only that person hadn't cut me off...............if only my child would blatently disobey............... if only that person wasn't so difficult to get along with.................if only [this] wasn't in my life ............................
How infinite is God's grace to our humanness!

A Mother's [Daunting] Task

I posted this on our church blog, but thought it was worth sharing. It is both rebuking & encouraging to me!

How can eternity influence a mother’s daily tasks?

[Excerpt from a sermon by John Piper.]

I believe it is a very high calling to be a mom charged with teaching everything she possibly can to one, two, or eight kids.

The women who flourish most and who delight most in that calling—and who are best at it—are not women whose lives are enclosed by their houses. They are women who are aware of the world. They’re aware of God’s global purpose. They’re aware of the ultimate purposes of God in history. They’re aware of things in history and in the far off reaches of the world today that God is doing. And those are part of what they want to build into these children. They want to raise global Christians, world Christians.

A mother will delight most in the little baby in front of her when she has a vision of God and a vision of the world that’s big enough to admit that this little child has a destiny in front of him or her and might become this or that.

If she is totally absorbed in her little home—with no vision for the world—then I think her domestic scene is probably going to shrivel up on her, and she is going to feel that it is small and constraining. But if she sees it in the wider context of what she is a part of in the missionary enterprise, I think every detail of her life can take on a global significance, indeed, an historical significance.

I really believe that. When I used to sit down for devotions with our four boys at home my mind wasn’t simply, “OK I have a duty as a dad: I’m supposed to do devotions at night.” My mind was, “What will they become?”

Ralph Winter used to say that nothing has an impact on kids except what they do daily. So we did prayer & devotions daily.

The goal isn’t just to fulfill some little task that parents are supposed to do. Rather, you’re building men & women who hopefully someday will have absorbed so much of God and so much of the Bible that it’s going to shape their whole world.

Amidst the dishes, the diapers, the laundry, and the carpools, might we never forget that we are shaping the world-view of our children. They need to daily see a big vision of God and a big vision of His global purposes.

I hope you all have a very blessed Mother's day weekend [I know I will because of this sweet little bundle AND a special daddy]!

Sometimes Weary....

Getting out of bed this morning was very difficult. I ALMOST went back to bed with Graham's morning nap! It's been one of those weeks where I am completely overwhelmed. Of course, the triplets are heavily on our mind as well as various other circumstances of life.

From the end of the earth, I call to you, when my heart is faint.

Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2

Saturday - Graham fell off a 3-foot playground platform and landed on his face. (He backed just out of my reach and off the stairs). I had deju-vu of Cole. However, he landed screaming, which was a good thing, I guess. Praise God for his protection. He has quite the war wound (oh how I am missing my camera!) on his face, but after 2 minutes, he was back up there. Whew. I kind of wish it would have given him a little fear. My first 3 gray hairs. And if he lives to adulthood, it will be a miracle at this point. I am seriously considering a helmet for him. Seriously.

Sunday - Andrew was home! Basically we gave each other a high-five and then spent 3 hours discussing paperwork. We have a task before us that is requiring immediate decisions & actions. Yes, we are purchasing our first home! (Don't recommend signing papers and then having your hubby leave town for a week.) Last week was really crazy. So this week we have to get our negotiations in as far as the inspection went (which raised a lot of red flags -boo). So just LOTS of decisions to make in a very short amount of time. Overwhelming!

Hear, Oh Lord, when I cry aloud. Be gracious to me, and answer me. You have said, Seek my face, My heart says to you, Your face, Lord, do I seek. Psalm 27:7-8

So this week, as I look at another crazy full-of-scribbles calendar, I must preach to my self daily...no, hourly...ok, minutely (that's a word, right?) that what I truly need to do today, is love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, and mind. I must think on the blessings of salvation and God's gift of grace to me and his abundant blessings in my life. Or else I will be impatient with my son, short with my husband, and have a very unpleasing attitude. (All things I am pretty sure I managed to do this weekend. unfortunately.)

Joys of the weekend
Friendship - my dear friend, Cara was here this weekend. She encouraged my heart so much and I am so thankful for her friendship. I had to laugh as we were strolling our babies thru the park, that I couldn't have imagined this moment when we met 10 years ago!! What a gift to have a friend who will listen, talk, love, admonish, and sharpen you as iron.

Great find - My neighbor, Christi, had a yard sale and I was able to score seven 15x19 & 11x13 silver metal frames for $3! Can't wait to see what I can do with those!!

Dinner - were invited to dinner by a couple in our church, Paul & Cathy. What a joy they are to our family and we are just loving the times we get to spend together with them.

God is good.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have it's full effect, that you may be perfect & complete, lacking nothing. James 1:2.

My Redeemer Lives...

There is a reason that our symbol of the cross is empty. And that is simply because Jesus did not stay on the cross, but is Risen!

We have been focusing on the Resurrection for the past few weeks on our church blog. And these are the lyrics to a song that we are singing this Sunday. I hope the message of Easter will resonate in your soul this weekend!

The darkest day in history was over

All was lost on the cross

Beaten, battered, bruised beyond description

You gave it all, what went wrong?

-----

This couldn't be the end of Heaven's story

'Cause you came to save, to beat the grave

Three days and now they're looking for your body

But You were gone and now I know

-----

You saved the day

The day you rolled the stone away

The empty grave is there to say,

You reign!

You saved the day

You tore the holy veil away

You opened wide the prison gates

You saved the day!

-----

Rescued from the shackles of my failures

In the dead of night, You shined Your light.

Your gift of love is Hope that springs eternal

And because of You, all things are new.

-----

You saved the day

The day you rolled the stone away

The empty grave is there to say

You reign.

You saved the day

You tore the holy veil away

You opened wide the prison gates

You reign!

(Words by Michael Neal, sung by PCD)

-----

For us indeed, it is a very Happy Easter!

THE HAND OF THE DIVINE....IN 2009

2009 brought many changes! As always, the hand of God was always faithful. We praise him for his much undeserved kindness to us this past year.

THE BIG ONES
>Feb. - our most precious boy was born
>April - Andrew graduated from seminary
>July - moved to Pittsburgh and our landlord rented to us without having a job
>August - Andrew got a job! only had to go one month without income, praise the Lord.
>October - Andrew got a better job! a much better fit for our needs & desires.
>November - survived this month being between insurances with no medical expenses!
>Not one, not two, but five amazing neighbors who have showered us with everything from vegetables from their gardens, to clothes for Graham, baked goodies, & Christmas presents for Graham as well. We love Little Italy. :)
>a new church family and new friends in our new home city


MATERIAL BLESSINGS
>given a dryer, stove, and refrigerator for our new home!
>given almost a complete wardrobe for graham's 12-18 month stage!
>over $50 worth of free Happy Baby organic baby food through a special coupon!
>recently found a $50 grocery gift card that someone had slipped in our diaper bag IN JULY! (I guess the Lord felt it would be more beneficial to us now!)



Unanswered Prayers
We praise God for His sovereignty here as well!
>Still looking for some piano students
>not been able to have a regular date night without a big swap pool :)
> that Andrew can get off at 5 pm to give us a little more family time each day
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We are so thankful for God's kindness every day. Not one day this year did we go without food, clothing, or shelter. That in itself is enough to praise God for. We thank Him for giving us an abundance of grace & blessings every day. We are thankful for the gift of God's son who took our wrath on His head that we might stand in righteousness before a holy God. ________________________________


I talked about my idea of goals in this post, but here are:


Some goals I have for 2010............


>have devotions before Graham gets up in the morning
I have not been very consistent with this as those with young kids know what a roller coaster that first year can be and so unpredictable from month to month sometimes! And sometimes you just want to sleep.............! But especially now that Graham is sleeping till almost 8, this is making it much easier to attain!
>limit computer time to specified, written-down times.
a "quick check" on the computer too often turns into an "extended stay".
>continue regular meetings with an older, godly woman
>talk Scripture & prayers to Graham (and not just when he's in trouble) :)
>Scripture memorization with my sister
>make regular visits to our 5 neighbors
>continue to grow our Momtourage group

trust or worry?

I must confess that I have worried more in the last 4 months than ever in my life! Something about having a child, I suddenly have this overwhelming protective instinct that has kicked in. My biggest fear has become that something will happen to Graham. I know that this is in God's hands, so why do I worry? I especially worry of him dying of SIDS in his crib. For some reason, I constantly worry that he is breathing and now that he is moving around more, I fear him pulling a blanket over his face and suffocating. I KNOW that it doesn't do any good to worry...but somehow it makes me feel better to worry. I feel that if something did happen, that somehow I would have prepared myself slightly for this possibility. crazy, I know!
I just started reading A Call to Spiritual Reformation by d.a.carson. If you want a huge reality check on your prayer life and the sovereignty of God, than I highly recommend it. WARNING: beware of great conviction!

On one of the most convicting pages to me, he talks about the sovereignty of God vs. worry. I CANNOT say that I trust in the sovereignty of God AND worry at the same time. I am either trusting or I am worrying. Those are my only 2 options. So, by God's grace, I am working at the former and not the latter. (you can ask me how I'm doing too!)

Another reason this has been so helpful is because we're waiting to find a job for Andrew and housing in Pittsburgh. We REALLY want to be there by July 1st, but have had several closed doors. So, we wait. we trust. or is it worry? we have a golden opportunity to trust God here. We know that God has the plan laid out for us. In His timing, not ours, the doors will open. trust.

Some convicting quotes from the book so far...

If we seek God to answer our prayers without passionately desiring a deeper knowledge of God, we are selfishly running after God's blessings without running after Him.

We have forgotten how to pray.

Where is our delight in praying?

The reason we pray so little is because we do not plan to pray.

Our prayers reflect our priorities.

We are hearing a lot about Christ's death & resurrection between this past Sunday & Easter Sunday. I appreciate the focus on what Christ has done for us. However, we should be focusing on, thinking of, and celebrating Christ's work every single week! Let's not get caught up in thinking about it this week and then let it pass by as if it doesn't change every single day of our lives!

But I do wish you a Happy Easter as we celebrate His resurrection!
I appreciate this song that we're singing in our church this week...

May I never lose the wonder,

the wonder of the cross.

May I see it like the first time

standing as a sinner lost,

undone by mercy and left speechless,

watching wide-eyed at the cost.

May I never lose the wonder,

the wonder of the cross.